My Naruto know your stars
by Doodlebop8993
Summary: love lieing? love watching brilliant ninjas fall apart? Love not really knowing your stars? Then this is the story for you!
1. Naruto Uzumaki

First victim…………

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Naruto Uzumaki

(nothing)

I said NARUTO UZUMAKI!

(nothing)

ENTER NARUTO UZUMAKI

(Naruto is violently thrown into a room with one chair and bright lights)

**I WASN'T DONE!**

SIT DOWN!

(he sits)

Naruto Uzumaki…….. He hates Sakura…..

**NO I DON'T I LOVE HER! SHE'S GOIN TO BE MY WIFE!**

Naruto Uzumaki………. He loves Kakashi…..

**I'M NOT GAY! And he's a loser!**

Naruto Uzumaki……….. He hates Ramen

**WHAT KIND OF SICK PERSON ARE YOU! I LOVE RAMEN!**

And now you know, Naruto Uzumaki the kid that hates Sakura, loves Kakashi and hates Ramen!

**WAIT! I'M NOT DONE COME BACK THEY DON'T' KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME! YOU JUST TOLD THEM LIES! NONE OF THAT IS TRUE! COME BACK!**

(MUHAHAHA! Who will be my next victim!)


	2. Sasuke Uchicha

Second victim!

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Sasuke Uchicha

(Sasuke walks in)

**WHERE IS ITACHI!**

Sit down and I'll tell you

**Yeah right**

SIT DOWN!

(Obediently sits down)

Sasuke Uchicha….. Is obsessed with mushrooms

**Umm what? No I'm not I'm an avenger**

Then why do you have one on your coat?

**It's a fan**

Mushroom

**It's-**

Shut up!

Sasuke Uchicha……. Loves Naruto

**UMM NO HE'S STUPID AND I'M NOT GAY!**

Sasuke Uchicha... made up the story of his family dieing for attention

**WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! I WATCHED THEM BE KILLED!**

Sasuke Uchicha……. Stole the sharigan from Kakashi

**Umm you can't steal it…. I earned it….**

Yeah right

And now you know, Sasuke Uchicha, the guy that is obsessed with mushrooms, a Naruto lover, and is too cheap to inherit the sharigan so he stole it.

**What are you talking about! They know nothing about me! Are you stupid or something? Come back here! Let me kill you! Forget Itachi your next you big liar head!**

(MUHAHAHA Who will be my next victim?)


	3. Sakura Haruno

Third Victim…….

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Sakura Haruno

**This is NOT the Sasuke fan club! I want my money back!**

Sit

**Where's Sasuke?**

I kicked him out about 3 minutes ago so just sit down

(she sits)

Sakura Haruno…….. Loves Ino

**NO I DON'T SHE IS MY ENEMY I LOVE SASUKE!**

Sakura Haruno….. her enemy is Sasuke

**I DID NOT SAY THAT! YOU JUST TWISTED MY WORDS!**

Sakura Haruno….. stole that dress

**I DID NOT! My grandma gave it to me for a present**

Where's the receipt?

**It was a present**

No it wasn't your grandma helped you steal it

**WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!**

And now you know…. Sakura Haruno, The girl that love a pig, hates Sasuke and steals dresses and then blames it on her grandma.

**STOP LIEING! YOUR MAKING ME SOUND BAD! I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT! COME BACK!**

(who's my next victim? i will now take suggestions)


	4. Kakashi Sensei

Victim four……….

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Kakashi sensei……

**Whoa…… this is not the bookstore anymore……. I wonder what happened….**

It went out of business and I bought it now just cooperate and sit down!

(sits while glancing around the room)

Kakashi sensei……… doesn't have a real face

**Umm yes I do it's under the mask**

Prove it

**No I will not show you how I really look!**

Fine

Kakashi sensei…….. he likes Ochimaru……

**Umm 1. He is a guy, I'm not gay, and 2. He is evil why the flip would I like him?**

Kakashi sensei……. He's in denial…..

**NO I'M NOT!**

I told you so……

**I'M NOT IN DENIAL!**

Kakashi sensei……. Sasuke stole his sharigan….. Poor Kakashi

_Sasuke's voice: I DID NOT STEAL IT!_

Kakashi sensei…… he cheats off tests……..

**NO I DON'T!**

You're a copy nin!

**GAHH YOUR ANNOYING!**

And now you know…… Kakashi sensei…. The teacher that doesn't have a face, likes the enemy, Sasuke stole his sharigan from, and cheats off test and is in denial!

**NO I'M NOT IN DENIAL! YOU'RE CRAZY I TELL YOU CRAZY! YOU SIT ON A THROWN OF LIES! GAHH I HATE YOU!**

(Kakashi exits room crying)

Umm okay that was weird

(Who will be my next victim? Please respond and say who you want to know about!)


	5. Ino Yamanaka

Victim five…….

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Ino Yamanaka…..

**SASUKE KUN! I'M HERE! WHERE ARE YOU!**

I threw him out a while ago, so sit down, and I'll bring him back

**Okay**

Ino Yamanaka……… she loves Naruto

**EWWWW! YOU ARE SOO DISGUSTING!**

Ino Yamanaka…….. her best friend is a napkin

**UMM WHAT! ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! **

Ino Yamanka………. She is a pig

**OH NO YOU DIDN'T! THAT'S IT NOBODY CALLS ME A PIG! COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME! **

No I have poptarts up here……..

**FORGET THE POPTARTS!**

Ino Yamanaka………………. She dumped Naruto-

**THANK YOU!**

I wasn't done anyway she dumped Naruto for Choji

**GAHHH WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU!**

Ino Yamanaka………….. she bathes in mayonnaise, that's why her hair is that color……

**I DO NOT BATHE IN MAYONAISE AND THIS COLOR IS NATURAL!**

Yes you do……….

**NO I DON'T**

She's like Kakashi…… in denial

**GRRRR! **

And now you know Ino Yamanaka, the pig that's best friend is a used napkin, who used to love Naruto but now loves Choji and is now in denial…….

**YOU ARE A LIAR! So can I see Sasuke kun now?**

No.

**But you said I could! **

I lied.

**WAIT COME BACK! **

(next victim?)


	6. Temari

Victim six…….

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Temari……………..

**OKAY WHERE IS HE! I'M GOING TO BEAT HIM TO A PULP!**

Sit down

**Why?**

Cause I'm the hostess and I said so! And I'm writing it so I can make you miserable!

(she sits)

Temari…………. She doesn't have a last name

**Umm yes I do… I just don't like to share it**

Temari………. She's obsessed with circles.

**What? No I'm not**

Yes you are…….. I mean come on you have three on your fan and your fan is like your baby!

**They're symbols**

What ever

Temari……….. loves Gaara

**Umm he's my brother! How could I love him?**

SO YOU DO LOVE HIM YOU JUST CAN'T!

**No I don't' love him… he's my brother…. Next insult…**

Temari………… want's to be just like Shikamaru…..

**WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE A BUM LIKE HIM!**

I don't know!

Temari….. hides olives in her eyes…….

**Is that even possible? I mean… WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?**

And now you know Temari, the girl with no last name, is obsessed with circles, can't love her brother, wants to be a bum, and hides olives in her eyes…..

**HOW CAN THEY KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT ME? THEY WERE ALL LIES! THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME! **

(next victim?)


	7. Itachi Uchicha

Seventh Victim……..

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Itachi Uchicha

**What do you want…..**

Itachi Uchicha……… loves his family……

**Umm I killed them…… last I checked that wasn't love……..**

Itachi Uchicha……… is jealous of Sasuke………

**Umm no I'm not……. He is weak and not worth killing…….**

(Sasuke fangirls gasp _He is not weak!_)

Itachi Uchicha……… likes the color pink………

**HEY ONLY REAL MEN WHERE PINK! Uhh I mean…… no I don't I like black….**

Itachi Uchicha…….. thinks Rock Lee is a sexy beast…..

_(FINNALY!- Lee's voice.)_

**I'M NOT GAY! WHO WOULD LIKE THAT COCUNUT HEAD ANYWAY?**

(_darn_)

Itachi Uchicha………is a punk rocker…….

**What?**

(darn not enough insults)

Itachi Uchicha……….. is a girl! (giggle giggle giggle)

**I'M NOT A GIRL! GIRLS ARE WUSSIES!**

(tenten throws kunais at him)

**okay I take it back…..**

Itachi Uchicha………. Is engaged to a bowl of ramen

"**………..**"

_YOU CAN DO THAT!_

NARUTO GET OUT!

And now you know…….. Itachi Uchicha….. the girl that is engaged to Ramen, loves his family, adores the color pink, is jealous of Sasuke, and thinks Rock Lee is a sexy beast…..

**I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! THEY'RE ALL LIES! GRR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ONE OF THE Akutuksi MEMBERS!**

Maybe you should join forces with Sakura and her grandma….. they can get you a pink dress……

**COME BACK!**

(next victim? Please respond and suggest)


	8. Tsunade Hockage

Eight victim…….

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Tsunade Hockage……………..

**Uhh what happened to my office?**

I transported you here so not sit down and let me talk

**Jeez your grumpy (she sits)**

Tsunade Hockage…………… She ate her pet pig

**gasp I would never do that!**

Tsunade Hockage…………. Isn't really the Hockage…….

**Umm yes I am**

No your not…..

**Yes I am……**

No your not, you're a liar so be quiet!

Tsunade Hockage………… her triangle on her head isn't real…..

**Yes it is………**

No it's not……. You drew it…… and it stinks!

**What are you talking about?**

And now you know…….. Tsunade Hockage……… who really isn't a Hockage, draws like a kindergartener, is a liar, and eats her pet pig……..

**THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME! THAT'S IT YOUR NOT A NINJA ANYMORE!**

BAHAHAHA I NEVER WAS!

(her vein sticks out and she leaves)

(Next victim?)


	9. Kiba Inuzuka

ninth victim………

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Kiba Inuzuka

(Kiba burst through the doors)

**Where the hell is Akamaru!**

OMG HE ACTUALLY CAME! KIBA I LOVE YOU! Uhh I mean…. SIT DOWN!

(he growls but sits)

Kiba Inuzuka……… Wants to sell Akamaru for puppy meat

**WHAT THE FUCK! I WOULD NEVER SELL HIM!**

Kiba Inuzuka……. He collects old printers……

**WHAT? No I don't….**

OH GREAT ANOTHER DENIAL VICTIM!

**I'm not in denial**

Here we go………

Kiba Inuzuka……. Loves fishes more then dogs…..

**Umm the last name is Inuzuka you know house of dogs…. Not house of fish**

Kiba Inuzuka….. he sleeps with footie pajamas………

**HUH?**

Kiba Inuzuka….. is now stupid…….

**WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?**

Kiba Inuzuka…… doesn't know how to speak English……..

**Yes I do…. I'm speaking it right now!**

And now you know…. Kiba Inuzuka… the guy that doesn't speak English has a lower IQ level then his dog, sleeps with footie pajamas, and collects old printers……

**WHAT THE? YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR!**

I know….. can't you read the summary? Or you don't know how to read or speak English

(glare)

**Can I go now? **

NO!

**Why?**

Cause you are going to be my assistant host….. I wonder if Vanna White has an extra outfit for you……..

**I'M NOT WEARING A FRICKIN DRESS!**

(his voice fades and you hear screams for help)

(whose my next victim?)


	10. Choji i mean Rock Lee

Victim 10……………

Choji

(Choji is sitting in a real BIG chair)

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Choji………

(Lee burst through doors!)

**I WANNA BE ON THE SHOW!**

BEAT IT COCUNUT HEAD!

**NO WAY! I WANNA STAY PLEASE LET ME STAY PLEASE!**

(pushes Choji out of chair)

(Choji's voice _help help I can't get up!_ Audience can see arms waving frantically)

Morgan sends Kiba out in a BLUE dress to go roll him away.

_**Roll roll like the wind!**_

Morgan throws Kiba a snack…

GOOD HOST!

Okay back to the show……

Rock Lee…………

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

**WAIT I WANT A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE!**

(Lee rushes outside and you can hear his muffled voice "okay introduce me")

Rock Lee…………

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Rock Lee…….

(he burst threw the doors running slowly like the Baywatch people)

What are you doing?

**It builds up the dramatic suspense! **

SIT DOWN!

(sits)

Rock Lee…………… is gay with Gai Sensei

**NO I'M NOT HE'S JUST MY IDOL!**

Rock Lee…………. He plays with Barbies……..

**NO I DON"T…….**

Rock Lee…….

**WAIT!**

WHAT!

**I don't want to be on the show anymore your mean!**

I DON'T CARE YOU ARE ON IT NOW YOU WILL STAY ON IT! SO SHUT UP!

(silence)

Rock Lee……….. eats coconuts 24/7

**NO I DON'T IM ALLERGIC!**

No your not…. That's why your head is shaped like one.

**NO IT'S NOT!**

Rock Lee……… isn't really a nice guy and he hates that pose……..

**GASP you're a big mean liar!**

Rock Lee…….sucks at coming up with comebacks……….

**YOU'RE A BIG MEAN POOPY HEAD! GAI SENSEI!**

(runs out of room screaming and crying)

and now you know……..Rock Lee….. the guy that sucks at comebacks, isn't a nice guy, has a coconut shaped head, is obsessed with coconuts, plays with Barbies and is gay with Gai sensei..

(next victim?)


	11. Shikamaru Nara

Victim 11…………..

Shikamaru Nara……….

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Shikamaru Nara………

**Why am I hear again this is soo troublesome…….**

Shikamaru Nara……… IS LATE!

**I didn't even want to come to this stupid thing, I saw Chouji rolling down a hill and thought it would be a bad idea….**

Shikamaru Nara….. SIT

(_he sits_)

Shikamaru Nara……….. collects calculators…….

**What?**

Shikamaru Nara……… is deaf…….

**No I'm not, your just telling lies………**

Shikamaru Nara…….. his head is a pineapple…..

**No it's not… my head is a head…..**

Shikamaru Nara…… then why does it look like one?

**Because I like this style…..**

Shikamaru Nara…… is obsessed with pineapple styles…

**Huh?**

Shikamaru Nara……. Talks to his three fish… Yazi, Gubgub and Bruce….

**……**

Shikamaru Nara…… is not effected?

**……**

Shikamaru Nara……. BETTER NOT BE SLEEPING ON MY SHOW!

**……**

Shikamaru Nara…….. IS SLEEPING ON MY SHOW!

Kiba please get rid of him!

(_Kiba comes out in a red sparkly dress and picks Shikamaru up while throwing him out_)

_**Shikamaru Nara…. Is a lazy bum….**_

Yes Kiba… you are right… you make me proud… here's a cookie……

And now you know Shikamaru Nara… the lazy bum who falls asleep on live fan fiction….. Talks to his fish…. Has a pineapple shaped head, is obsessed with pineapples, and collects calculators…..

Who will be my next victim? Please suggest.


	12. Orochimaru

**OK GUYS! I'M BACK AND READY!!! Yes I've let this story kinda waist away but hey im bored and ready to do one! Ok here we go!!!!**

**-Doodlebop8993**

Victim 12…………………..

Orochimaru……………

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…………..

Orochimaru………

**Yes that is my name. Now let's move along a bit shall we?**

(He licks his lips)

Orochimaru………Grosses me out when he does that anyway!

Orochimaru………..he wears make up

**Just eyeliner.**

Orochimaru……….he sleeps with a nightlight

**Uh…no I don't.**

Orochimaru……….yes you do

**No. I Don't!**

Orochimaru…………Is a go go dancer!

**NO IM NOT!**

Orochimaru….GET YOUR GROOVE ON!!!

**No! I don't have a groove!!!**

Orochimaru…..runs a pedophile in training camp!!

**WHO TOLD YOU!? IT WAS KABUTO WASN'T IT!!**

Orochimaru……is batman!

**NO IM NOT!**

And now you know…Orochimaru. The makeup wearing, pedophile in training camp instructor, go go dancer, and who sleeps with a nightlight with a secret identity as Batman.

**WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?! THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!! I'M NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS besides the pedophile COME BACK!!**

(next victim??)


	13. Kabuto

Victim 13………………..

Kabuto……………..

Know your stars, Know your stars, know your stars…….

Kabuto…….is a traitor.

**Yes everyone who watches Naruto knows that.**

Kabuto…….I hate traitors.

**Join the club.**

Kabuto…….is straight!

**WHAT?! NO IM NOT! MY LOVE IS OROCHIMARU!!!**

Kabuto…..has a secret identity….

**Yes. I'm a 'leaf' ninja.**

Kabuto….no. that's not the one I was talking about…you…you are…ROBIN!!

**…..no…I'm not.**

Kabuto…YES YOU ARE! YOU AND OROCHIMARU WORK TOGETHER!! TO THE BATMOBILE! GO GO GO!

**…..??**

Kabuto………is a tree farmer

**No im not.**

Kabuto….yes you are.

**No im not.**

Kabuto…….believes he is a cell phone.

**NO I DON'T!**

And now you know…..Kabuto…Robin at night, cellphone and tree farmer by day, the straight guy, and a traitor…who I hate.

**THEY KNOW NOTHING!!! INSOLENT FOOLS DON'T LISTEN TO HER!!**

(next victim??)

ok guys i know that one stunck...both did. badly. i'm hitting myself for it too. it's been a while since i've done this and i suck at coming up with sucky insults...so yeah. im working on it.


End file.
